Being a special needs, foster mom means...

I want to start out by saying, this is not me saying any type of mom is any better or worse than another... this is simply me sharing my experiences as a mom to help others see a VERY SMALL glimpse into our daily lives, both the struggles and joys that come along with it. This is also written about moms simply because I am writing from my own point of view, but this is just as applicable to dads as well.

BEING A MOM MEANS...
interpreting the cries and kissing the skinned knees.
cooking and cleaning.
disciplining and raising a good, respectful child.
being an example to your children.
school and activity pickups and drop offs.
laundry, laundry and more laundry.
constant clothes shopping because kids never stop growing and/or destroying their clothes.

BEING A SPECIAL NEEDS MOM MEANS....
a whole new level of care.
interpreting the cries all through life (if your child is nonverbal).
a life of spoon feeding and diaper changes.
one appointment after the next.
searching for babysitters that are comfortable caring for all the needs of your child.
life long caregiving (and the constant fear of what will happen to your child if something happens to you).
almost every activity and every outing must be altered to include that child.
having to tell your child "Im sorry, but you just can't do that because of ____".
comforting your child after they have had their hopes crushed time and time again because their needs stop them from joining in.
reminding your child that being different is not a bad thing.
watching your child struggle to complete "simple" every-day tasks.
being asked "which of your kids are completely normal?"

BEING A FOSTER MOM MEANS...
having people treat you like you aren't a real mom because your story is different from theirs.
always having the fear that that call will come and it will be time to say goodbye.
not always being called "mom" because you have to respect the fact that that child has another family.
hiding some painful truths from your child about their biological family, because there is no reason to add pain to an already hurting child.
fearing the following days after visitation day because of regression.
dealing with Reactive Attachment Disorder.
when talking about your family, being told "when you have your own kids, you will do things differently".
being told "when you have biological kids, you will love them differently then the ones you have now".
having to follow certain rules and regulations on how to raise your child.
knowing that if that child leaves you may never see them again.
accepting that that child is your everything... but tomorrow they may be calling someone else their family.
having your child yell "you're not my mom!" at you.
always being told "I could never foster, I would get too attached."
people assuming that the love you have for your foster child is somehow different from the love they have for their child.
if your child passes away people pretending like it's no big deal because they weren't your biological child, even though it feels as though your world is falling apart.

BEING A SPECIAL NEEDS, FOSTER MOM....
SUCKS!

BUT IT MEANS....
seeing hope in the eyes of a child who came to you with no hope at all.
finding a system of communication for a child who has never had a voice.
providing a comforting and safe environment to kids who so badly need it.
seeing a child who was previously unable to move around independently moving their chair on their own.
celebrating birthday's of kids who have never had that kind of affection before.
teaching kids about the love of God.
praising a child for an accomplishment and seeing the joy in their eyes because they have never heard that kind of encouragement.
learning every aspect of an autistic child's behavior so that you can help them live their happiest life.
fighting on behalf of a child who has never experienced that kind of love before.
being the family (even if only for a little while) to a child who has only ever lived in an institution.
hugs and kisses out the wazoo!
getting to love a child who has never experienced love before.