His Grace is Sufficient for Me

I have known for about 2 weeks now that I have really needed to do a blog update. I have had plenty of time, that was not what was keeping me from it, but it was my lack of content that was preventing me from writing. I don’t really have any updates on my work here (because I am still having trouble getting the appropriate information) and to be honest, its making me very discouraged and making me feel like a failure. So I have just been keeping my mind open to what God might have me write about next…. But yesterday, as I was going about my day, He made it quite clear.

So I have been slowly working through a book by Nancy Leigh DeMoss called Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free. Today for my devotions I was reading a small section titled “God’s grace is sufficient for me”…

A few weeks ago, we were at a book store and remembering that I am nearing the end of my prayer journal, I bought a new one. As I was cleaning this afternoon, I came across it…

I think God is trying to get something past my thick skull.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

I am weak. I make mistakes. I am a failure at time. But I will always rejoice because in those moments he is still perfect! He uses the worst of my moments to prove his grace....
His grace is sufficient.
His grace is infinite.
His grace is perfect.
His grace is made for me.

The Happenings.... Part 2 (The important, Uganda stuff)

Okay, I am so sorry that it has been so long since I have given a real update. If I am being honest it was because I had such a good time in the United States that I so did not want to think about (let alone return to) Uganda. As most of you know, my time here in Uganda has been lonely, boring and discouraging, but I have said it before and I will say it 100,000 more times.... I have no doubt that this is exactly where God has called me, so I have returned and I also know that God is going to do some great things in me through this! My trust in fully in God and that is exactly where it is going to stay. So, again, I am sorry for my horrible communication, I will be working very hard to improve.

Well, with that out of the way, let me get going with th Uganda portion of the blog update....

On Wednesday, August 3^rd Taryn and I hopped on a plane and were in Uganda the following night….
Only to realize I did not have access to my apartment. Come to find, someone tried to break in while I was gone, so a neighbor added an extra pad lock to the door. She was at work so we could not get the key from her. Luckily a friend of mine allowed us to crash at her place that night. The next morning everything was worked out, got in the apartment, nothing missing, all is good…. Praise God! We spent the next few days cleaning, doing some unpacking, recovering from jet lag and introducing Taryn to Uganda.... food, transportation, grocery shopping, the basics :)

Monday was my birthday so we hung out all lazy like, went out for lunch and saw Suicide Squad (a movie that I have been looking forward to for like 2 years since I first found out it was in the making). Tuesday was Taryn’s birthday (we are 5 years, 8 hours and 30 minutes apart) so we were lazy again, hung out for a while, went out for coffee and a nice, fancy (for us) desert and then went to see Jason Bourne (we are both a little obsessed with the Bourne series so that was super exciting as well).

Now we are getting to work. Contacting more ministries for Taryn’s time here, I am working on catching up on computer work, contacts and things like that. We will be working more on getting settled in, figuring out what needs to be changed and tweaked in the apartment with an additional person in the place. 

Now the interesting things are coming up. This is where I need your prayer and your help.
First of all, I was planning on starting the licensing process to open up the home, but I was recently informed that the Ugandan government is shut down for the month of August. So now I shall start house hunting. The one problem with that, my finances are in no place to move into a larger (and in turn more expensive) place, especially considering that also means I will have to hire a guard. But I have no doubt that God will provide in his timing. So I am hoping to start house hunting very soon and I will keep you all posted on that.

Other prayer requests....
The main thing is, I really need prayer for emotional and mental reasons. The way my mind works is very interesting and often very frustrating. I have a lot of trouble focusing on tasks and getting stuff done, no matter how hard I try. It will hopefully be a little better now that I have Taryn around to keep me accountable. But prayers would be greatly appreciated. Also, I am not bad at setting up house, grocery shopping, cooking, hands on work like that.... but paperwork and computer work, all the legal work is very much out of my comfort zone. These are things that need to be done and I am the only one to do it, but I need prayer for wisdom, discernment and perseverance seeing as I have a LOT of it coming up.

Thank you so much for your prayers!

The Happenings... part 1 (U.S. update)

This is just a very brief summery of my time in the states. I am working on Part 2 of this blog where I will inform everyone of the happenings here in Uganda. But for the moment..... pictures of my trip!

My time in the states was amazing! Landed in the Pennsylvania area and got to spend a few days with family.

Taryn and I then did the Equip International Medical Missions Intensive training in North Carolina… Exhausting and amazing! Then spent a week with family there.

Then we headed to Ohio for a lot of stuff....
Went to a total of 4 weddings, and was in 1 of them.

Was a counselor at Ludlow Falls Kids Kamp (the church camp in Ohio that we went to growing up)

Got to go to Chicago and see the Cubs with Shauna and Andi!!!

I spent tons of time hanging out and catching up with friends and family!

And finished up with family camping in Pennsylvania.

It was an amazing trip and I want to thank everyone who helped me while I was in the states. I feel so blessed to have so many people willing to do so much for me! God bless you all!

Stay posted for part 2 of this blog that will explain everything here in Uganda!

Heading Stateside! (temporarily of course)

As I said a few blog post ago, I am planing a trip back to the U.S. this summer. Here are some of my plans and details.

May 2nd - Leave Uganda
May 3rd - Land in DC..... I will meet up with Taryn (who is flying in the same day) and we will head to my grandparents house in PA
May 7th - My Aunt Kathy and Uncle Bob will drive Taryn and I to NC (they will be arriving on the 6th, spending the night and driving us on the 7th)
May 8th-19th - Equip International Medical Missions Training
May 19th - Head back to Uncle Bob and Aunt Kathy's house
May 27th - Drive to Ohio. My Aunt and Uncle will drive us half way where we will meet some friends, have lunch and then they will drive us the other half.

June 11th - I will be in one of my best friends weddings!
June 18th and 25th - I will be attending very good friends weddings.

June 26th-July 2nd - Ludlow Falls Kids Camp. When we lived in Ohio, one of the highlights of the summer was camp. This year I am thrilled that I get to be a counselor!
July 4th - First Independence day celebrated in the U.S. in 6 years!

July 24th-28th(ish) - Trip to Chicago with Krishauna and Andi!!!! They will be in the area for fundraising purposes, so the three of us are going to take a few day trip to visit Wrigley Field and see our Cubs! The exact dates of this are not nailed down, but we will be taking this trip around that time.
July 28th (ish) - Drive back to Pennsylvania with Krishauna and Andi
July 29th-31st - Family camping trip. Every year my mom's side of the family does a weekend camping trip. For the first time in 6 years.... I will be there!
August 2nd or 3rd - Head back to Uganda with Taryn by my side :D We have not yet booked tickets, (that will happen before too long, but I know it will be right around that time).

So all of June and a good chunk of July I have a lot of open time. During that I would LOVE to come visit small groups, bible studies, coffee visits, desert parties, anything to share about my ministry and fund raise. My problem is, I have a LOT of trouble speaking in front of large groups and I am so uncomfortable that I can not properly convey what I am trying to say..... but I do love sharing about my ministry here. So if you have any small group setting that you would like me to share at, please e-mail me and I would love to come! carissa@hopeforhome.org

I could also really use a car while I am in Ohio, if anyone has a car that is available June and most of July, please let me know, I would really appreciate it!!! I am also still figuring out where I will be staying over that time.... this greatly depends on whether or not I have a car (if I do not, I need to try to stay more in the center of Troy so I can walk most places). Also, please be praying for my last few weeks here, that I will continue to be productive and have a good time, but that I will also be able to properly prepare for my trip to the states. Thanks so much for everyone who is praying and all help friends and family are giving.... I am so very blessed to be surrounded by so many amazing people!

Learning to live life while craving death

I have have been wanting to write this blog for a months and months, and have been in the process of actually writing it for weeks now... it is a hard one to write. It is emotional and it is very difficult to find the wording to properly convey my feelings, so if this all sounds scatterbrained I am very sorry, please bear with me.

God is good! I do not question His greatness.... but he has called me to a very difficult life (and others as well, I am not downplaying what others go through in any way, I am only talking from my own experience). I live a life chock-full of goodbyes, death, watching those suffer in pain and struggle with disabilities. I live half a world away from my family and most of my friends. I am missing my nephew, niece and younger siblings grow up from afar. I have missed friends falling in love, getting married and having babies. I have no spouse, no kids, no ministry partner and no roommate which makes my life here quite lonely. I have had to hug and kiss Christian (who was like a son to me) one last time, hand him to his parents and walk away. I have now seen 4 of my younger siblings burred, one of which was like a daughter to me. So many people look at me as a young, innocent girl that doesn't understand life... I have been through a lot and, sadly, this is just the beginning. I have a lot of ministry work ahead of me, I have no idea the pain and difficulties to come.

I crave death!

"But in my mind's eye I can see a place where your glory fills every empty space. All the cancer is gone, every mouth is fed and there's no one left in the orphans' bed. Every lonely heart finds their one true love and there's no more goodbye and no more not enough and there's no more enemy. No more." -Heaven is the Face, Steven Curtis Chapman

Every single thing that I mentioned up there (and so, so much more) is a continues reminder that the enemy is here. This world is filled with so much suffering and pain; things we will never be able to escape while being here, but heaven.... that's a whole new story.

I hear others talk about being afraid to die, but I find it very hard to even have the desire to live, knowing what we have to look forward to. Now, I need to make something very clear... I am in no way a suicide risk. That is just not the case in anyway, so there is no reason to worry about that. I am only saying that this life is incredibly hard and we have sooooooo much to look forward to!

So now we get to the interesting part.... The "Learning to live life..." part, as opposed to the "...craving death" part.

I must continue. Even when I want to give up I must learn to live with passion. Until he calls me to the next life I must live a life on fire for him.  I must climb out of bed every day and ask Him what I should do that day. I must use my difficulties and pain to relate to others so I can lead them closer to Christ (because life is truly pointless unless I point others towards Him). God has me here for a reason... so until the day comes when he sees fit to take me to be with Him (and once again see, hold and love on Thania, Angelita, Esperanza and Micah) I am here to do whatever He asks of me.

Some times I am still unsure of how to do this. Some days no matter how hard I try it feels just about impossible to climb out of bed, knowing the difficulties that are ahead.... on those bad days I am trying to just cling to God, because what else can you do?

"I love you I'm trying to love you more.
I'm ready, please help me love you more.
-Love You More, Nichole Nordeman

My "normal" week....

So, the other post that I have been working on for so long now is still not ready.... so here is just a quick update on my life here!

First of all I just want to say, God is good! He has been really helping provide for me here and it has been great. He has placed some awesome people in my life that have been very good and encouraging to me and he is helping me turn my apartment into my own space.

Last week I got new furniture! My apartment just didn't feel like home and it was causing me to not be content staying at home and was just not motivating me to be productive. So.... a friend of mine was moving and selling all her stuff, so I was able to get a lot of stuff from her for a very good price! This allows me to invite people over a bit more, feel more at home and just makes living alone a little better.

Before:

 After:

On Wednesdays I have been attending two different bible studies. In the morning there is a group of missionary ladies that meet, worship, pray, read the word and break up into small groups for more in depth talking. Wednesday evenings there is a small group of young woman that meet, we are studying into Isaiah and really digging into it. These bible studies have been a huge help for me!

Thursday evening I head over to my friends house (one of the families I stayed with for a few weeks when I moved here). They have me over for dinner and I stay for the evening, help out with the kids if they need anything but I mostly just hang out. It is a great chance to just spend time with other people.

On Fridays I have also recently started visiting an orphanage about an hour or two away (depending on taxi's and traffic). A friend of mine has been going there and told me that they have a little girl with Cerebral Palsy. So I am trying to go about once a week to spend some time with Margret (and of course I also like to play with the other kids as well). I am going to be working with her on doing things for herself, working on motivation and strength. 

In my down time I am working very hard on time management.... I have been working out, reading, drawing, studying Luganda and doing personal studies of disabilities. I don't always do a great job with all of this, but it is a working process. 

And just for you all.... her are just a few pictures of the beautiful, crazy, amazing country I get to call home!

Thank you all so much for your continued prayer and support!