The Happenings... part 1 (U.S. update)

This is just a very brief summery of my time in the states. I am working on Part 2 of this blog where I will inform everyone of the happenings here in Uganda. But for the moment..... pictures of my trip!

My time in the states was amazing! Landed in the Pennsylvania area and got to spend a few days with family.

Taryn and I then did the Equip International Medical Missions Intensive training in North Carolina… Exhausting and amazing! Then spent a week with family there.

Then we headed to Ohio for a lot of stuff....
Went to a total of 4 weddings, and was in 1 of them.

Was a counselor at Ludlow Falls Kids Kamp (the church camp in Ohio that we went to growing up)

Got to go to Chicago and see the Cubs with Shauna and Andi!!!

I spent tons of time hanging out and catching up with friends and family!

And finished up with family camping in Pennsylvania.

It was an amazing trip and I want to thank everyone who helped me while I was in the states. I feel so blessed to have so many people willing to do so much for me! God bless you all!

Stay posted for part 2 of this blog that will explain everything here in Uganda!

Heading Stateside! (temporarily of course)

As I said a few blog post ago, I am planing a trip back to the U.S. this summer. Here are some of my plans and details.

May 2nd - Leave Uganda
May 3rd - Land in DC..... I will meet up with Taryn (who is flying in the same day) and we will head to my grandparents house in PA
May 7th - My Aunt Kathy and Uncle Bob will drive Taryn and I to NC (they will be arriving on the 6th, spending the night and driving us on the 7th)
May 8th-19th - Equip International Medical Missions Training
May 19th - Head back to Uncle Bob and Aunt Kathy's house
May 27th - Drive to Ohio. My Aunt and Uncle will drive us half way where we will meet some friends, have lunch and then they will drive us the other half.

June 11th - I will be in one of my best friends weddings!
June 18th and 25th - I will be attending very good friends weddings.

June 26th-July 2nd - Ludlow Falls Kids Camp. When we lived in Ohio, one of the highlights of the summer was camp. This year I am thrilled that I get to be a counselor!
July 4th - First Independence day celebrated in the U.S. in 6 years!

July 24th-28th(ish) - Trip to Chicago with Krishauna and Andi!!!! They will be in the area for fundraising purposes, so the three of us are going to take a few day trip to visit Wrigley Field and see our Cubs! The exact dates of this are not nailed down, but we will be taking this trip around that time.
July 28th (ish) - Drive back to Pennsylvania with Krishauna and Andi
July 29th-31st - Family camping trip. Every year my mom's side of the family does a weekend camping trip. For the first time in 6 years.... I will be there!
August 2nd or 3rd - Head back to Uganda with Taryn by my side :D We have not yet booked tickets, (that will happen before too long, but I know it will be right around that time).

So all of June and a good chunk of July I have a lot of open time. During that I would LOVE to come visit small groups, bible studies, coffee visits, desert parties, anything to share about my ministry and fund raise. My problem is, I have a LOT of trouble speaking in front of large groups and I am so uncomfortable that I can not properly convey what I am trying to say..... but I do love sharing about my ministry here. So if you have any small group setting that you would like me to share at, please e-mail me and I would love to come! carissa@hopeforhome.org

I could also really use a car while I am in Ohio, if anyone has a car that is available June and most of July, please let me know, I would really appreciate it!!! I am also still figuring out where I will be staying over that time.... this greatly depends on whether or not I have a car (if I do not, I need to try to stay more in the center of Troy so I can walk most places). Also, please be praying for my last few weeks here, that I will continue to be productive and have a good time, but that I will also be able to properly prepare for my trip to the states. Thanks so much for everyone who is praying and all help friends and family are giving.... I am so very blessed to be surrounded by so many amazing people!

Learning to live life while craving death

I have have been wanting to write this blog for a months and months, and have been in the process of actually writing it for weeks now... it is a hard one to write. It is emotional and it is very difficult to find the wording to properly convey my feelings, so if this all sounds scatterbrained I am very sorry, please bear with me.

God is good! I do not question His greatness.... but he has called me to a very difficult life (and others as well, I am not downplaying what others go through in any way, I am only talking from my own experience). I live a life chock-full of goodbyes, death, watching those suffer in pain and struggle with disabilities. I live half a world away from my family and most of my friends. I am missing my nephew, niece and younger siblings grow up from afar. I have missed friends falling in love, getting married and having babies. I have no spouse, no kids, no ministry partner and no roommate which makes my life here quite lonely. I have had to hug and kiss Christian (who was like a son to me) one last time, hand him to his parents and walk away. I have now seen 4 of my younger siblings burred, one of which was like a daughter to me. So many people look at me as a young, innocent girl that doesn't understand life... I have been through a lot and, sadly, this is just the beginning. I have a lot of ministry work ahead of me, I have no idea the pain and difficulties to come.

I crave death!

"But in my mind's eye I can see a place where your glory fills every empty space. All the cancer is gone, every mouth is fed and there's no one left in the orphans' bed. Every lonely heart finds their one true love and there's no more goodbye and no more not enough and there's no more enemy. No more." -Heaven is the Face, Steven Curtis Chapman

Every single thing that I mentioned up there (and so, so much more) is a continues reminder that the enemy is here. This world is filled with so much suffering and pain; things we will never be able to escape while being here, but heaven.... that's a whole new story.

I hear others talk about being afraid to die, but I find it very hard to even have the desire to live, knowing what we have to look forward to. Now, I need to make something very clear... I am in no way a suicide risk. That is just not the case in anyway, so there is no reason to worry about that. I am only saying that this life is incredibly hard and we have sooooooo much to look forward to!

So now we get to the interesting part.... The "Learning to live life..." part, as opposed to the "...craving death" part.

I must continue. Even when I want to give up I must learn to live with passion. Until he calls me to the next life I must live a life on fire for him.  I must climb out of bed every day and ask Him what I should do that day. I must use my difficulties and pain to relate to others so I can lead them closer to Christ (because life is truly pointless unless I point others towards Him). God has me here for a reason... so until the day comes when he sees fit to take me to be with Him (and once again see, hold and love on Thania, Angelita, Esperanza and Micah) I am here to do whatever He asks of me.

Some times I am still unsure of how to do this. Some days no matter how hard I try it feels just about impossible to climb out of bed, knowing the difficulties that are ahead.... on those bad days I am trying to just cling to God, because what else can you do?

"I love you I'm trying to love you more.
I'm ready, please help me love you more.
-Love You More, Nichole Nordeman

My "normal" week....

So, the other post that I have been working on for so long now is still not ready.... so here is just a quick update on my life here!

First of all I just want to say, God is good! He has been really helping provide for me here and it has been great. He has placed some awesome people in my life that have been very good and encouraging to me and he is helping me turn my apartment into my own space.

Last week I got new furniture! My apartment just didn't feel like home and it was causing me to not be content staying at home and was just not motivating me to be productive. So.... a friend of mine was moving and selling all her stuff, so I was able to get a lot of stuff from her for a very good price! This allows me to invite people over a bit more, feel more at home and just makes living alone a little better.

Before:

 After:

On Wednesdays I have been attending two different bible studies. In the morning there is a group of missionary ladies that meet, worship, pray, read the word and break up into small groups for more in depth talking. Wednesday evenings there is a small group of young woman that meet, we are studying into Isaiah and really digging into it. These bible studies have been a huge help for me!

Thursday evening I head over to my friends house (one of the families I stayed with for a few weeks when I moved here). They have me over for dinner and I stay for the evening, help out with the kids if they need anything but I mostly just hang out. It is a great chance to just spend time with other people.

On Fridays I have also recently started visiting an orphanage about an hour or two away (depending on taxi's and traffic). A friend of mine has been going there and told me that they have a little girl with Cerebral Palsy. So I am trying to go about once a week to spend some time with Margret (and of course I also like to play with the other kids as well). I am going to be working with her on doing things for herself, working on motivation and strength. 

In my down time I am working very hard on time management.... I have been working out, reading, drawing, studying Luganda and doing personal studies of disabilities. I don't always do a great job with all of this, but it is a working process. 

And just for you all.... her are just a few pictures of the beautiful, crazy, amazing country I get to call home!

Thank you all so much for your continued prayer and support! 

Where He begins I must end.

I am going to be completely honest here, so please bear with me....

As most or all of you know, I am back in Uganda. This is extremely difficult for me. I am very close to my friends and family in Guatemala and this past set of goodbyes were the hardest I have ever had to say (and I have had lot of hard goodbyes). God has blessed me with many friends here, but I have not yet found many close friends, so that makes coming back even more difficult. I live by myself so it is very lonely. I do not have a car so I am limited with where and when I can go places (night time, rain and long distances).

I have been in Uganda since the 3rd.... and in the interest of being honest, in the past week there has been a LOT of self pity going on. I sit in my apartment, jet lagged, just wallowing in self pity. I have been putting off cleaning and unpacking because, well whats the point? I just lounge around and watch TV shows. I have been trying to work my way out of this mode, but it is so, very hard.

But Saturday evening, I sat down to do my devotions and (without reading a word) God put something on my heart. I often hear phrases along the lines of "Where I end, He begins"... you know all those phrases dealing with our faults and him picking up the pieces (great, great message that is very applicable) but for this moment in my life, he gave me a new phrase "Where He begins, I must end".

God is always one step ahead of us.... well honestly he has everything laid out, there are no "steps" for him, but for the sake of wording, we will stick with that. God is here in Kampala, Uganda waiting for me. He is waiting to provide. He is waiting to bring the right people into my life, people who are trustworthy, people who love me, people who will be accountability partners and will push me closer to Him. But when I act like a child and when I wallow in self pity... when I throw my little temper tantrum, my Father is standing in my bedroom door with his arms crossed and waiting there for me asking, "Are you done yet?" You know those moments where you are watching a toddler (yours, or a sibling, or babysitting) and the child is throwing a tantrum over nothing and you have the answer for them, but you wait until they are done throwing their fit because they have to learn that is not how you get your way? Well, that's what God has been doing for me. He has just been waiting for me, ready to help me but waiting for my pouting to be over. 

Where He begins, I must end.
He is already here... He is not waiting for me to fall so he can pick me up. He is not looking to fill my faults. He is waiting for me to end my selfishness and step out of the way so he can take over and provide the things I have been praying for. I must end so He can prove his sovereignty.
So I am trying my best to pick myself up, take a deep breath and keep going. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fail... But I am trying.


So on my good days I have a game plan (well, somewhat)...
I met with a friend a few days ago and she has giving me some advice on how to get going with starting a non-profit here. First thing is I have to find a group that will serve as the board of directors here. This sounds like a semi easy task but there are difficulties that I will not go into. So, please be praying that God will lead me to the right people and he will give me discernment in the process. Pray that I will find very trustworthy people who will give good advice and guidance, but still allow me to set up the details of this home as I feel God is leading me to do.
Another prayer request (as I mentioned earlier) I could really use a vehicle. It would be very beneficial to me in many ways, but money is a little tight. Please pray that God will lead me to the right vehicle that will be reliable and that He will provide the money as well.
Last request, on the 18th there are elections here in Uganda. Things can sometimes get bad right after election. Pray for Gods will to be done in the election, and that everything will stay calm and safe here in Kampala.

So that's what is going on with me. Thank you for your continued prayers, they are needed more now than ever. God bless! 

Latest update.... a little boring, but short and informative.

Finally, I have plans and feel like a blog update is worth writing!

First I want to say, the past 2 months of being home have been so good. It has also given me some much needed time of refreshment with family and friends. So far I have had the chance to watch the world series with my dad and siblings, witch was wonderful. Krishauna and Andi's wedding was so beautiful and it was amazing to be a part of it. We are now in full fledged Christmas mode! Then in January is Brittney and Joel's wedding. This was some much needed family time! I am also spending some time learning more about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and other illnesses that will help me with the future.

Tickets to go home to Uganda are booked! I will be leaving Guatemala on January 23rd. I am going to be flying with my grandparents to Pennsylvania and will be spending a little bit of time with them and with Krishauna and Andi. I will leave Pennsylvania on February 2nd and will land in Uganda on the 3rd. 

When I get to Uganda things are not 100% curtain. I will be getting there around election time so there in no guarantee what things will be like (I have been told that things can be very unpredictable around election time). I am looking into the possibility of maybe staying with some friends for a week or two while this is going on, but decisions are still being made concerning that. Once everything calms down from that I will start the process of becoming an NGO there in Uganda. I do not know how long this will take, but it will be a step by step process that I will work through.

This coming summer I will be taking another trip. I will be heading to the United States for May and June. There is a two week (May 8th-19th) intense medical missions training seminar with Equip International in North Carolina. (If you would like to know more about it feel free to check it out  http://www.equipinternational.org/mmi/) This is a chance for me to learn how to diagnose and treat a verity of illnesses and and injury while on the missions field. This is some very good, basic information that will provide extremely helpful on the filed. I will be doing this in May (as opposed to fall when they host the same training) because I have a few very close friends who are getting married in June and this will allow me to be there for their special days. 

For anyone wondering I want to clear up a few things. First, my trip that I am on right now, in Guatemala, was provided by family members that really wanted me to be a part of my sisters weddings. Second, I have moved to Uganda but am planning multiple trips close together. This is not a result of my heart not being in Uganda. I am not questioning my call or changing my mind, this is a great opportunity and probably my last time to visit Ohio for quite a while. I do not plan on taking trips every 6 months or even every year, this is just how things have fallen into place. 

Thank you all for your continued prayer and support. 

Merry Christmas!

I feel like Tom Hanks in The Terminal....

I am very sorry that I am just now getting around to this update on the newest things in my life at the moment… my last week in Uganda was rather busy and so I just did not get around to it. So yes, I am not in Uganda at the moment. I am on my way home (to Guatemala) for 4 months. I am going back to for Krishauna and Andi’s wedding, I will be home through the holidays and then for Brittney and Joel’s wedding. It’s going to be a wonderful, busy few months! 

So far, my traveling has been quite smooth, but very long and exhausting. I left my apartment at 8pm on Monday, the 5^th. My flight left at about midnight, 8 hour flight to Amsterdam, 6 hour layover, 8 hour flight to Washington DC where I had an overnight layover. 

My grandparents live a couple hours from DC so they picked me up from the airport, took me to Cracker Barrel  for dinner, then we went to the hotel and hug out a bit before we slept…. In fantastic beds with amazing pillows! (it was like sleeping on a cloud ;) ) 

My flight from DC left at 6 am, so we were up and on our way at 4. I am not on my 2 hours layover in Atlanta, but we will be boarding in about 30 min.... Then just the last leg of my trip, a 3 hour 45 min flight to Guatemala!!!! I am almost home and I can not wait to see my family!!!! But ya, I am defiantly beginning to feel like Tom Hanks on the Terminal. 

I do not yet have a return ticket to Uganda, but I AM returning and it will likely be in February (due to the fact that elections will be around that time and things can get crazy, I am not 100% sure when I will be heading back, but it will be around that time). So ya, that’s about it for the moment. Thanks for all your prayers and support, God bless!

P.S. Sorry for all the random pictures of me.... Selfies will not become a regular blog thing, I have just been VERY bored.